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‘The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM Role Play and the Erotic Edge’ by Tristan Taormino

‘The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM Role Play and the Erotic Edge’ by Tristan Taormino

Author: Sassafras Lowrey

August 15, 2012

In a world increasingly dominated (pun intended) by 50 Shades of Grey and other arguably unrealistic representations of BDSM, Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM Role Play and the Erotic Edge is exactly what we need. This primer takes the biggest names in the kink world and binds them together (the puns here are endless) into the kind of how-to guide our community has desperately needed for a long time. Taormino has put together a collection that masters the difficult job of being everything a beginner first exploring kink could need, while also being a book that seasoned players are proud to display on their bookshelf. 

The book is broken into chapters, each tackled by an expert in that particular area like human-animal role-play, bondage, fisting, piercing, age play, tantric sex and so much more, each written by celebrated authors like Patrick Califia who explores “Butthole Bliss: The Ins and Outs of Anal Fisting” and “Enhancing Masochism: How to Expand Limits and Increase Desire” and Laura Antoniou who provides readers with a primer on “How To Train Your Sex Slave.”  The sections also include easy to follow diagrams that helpfully illustrate various concepts being presented.

The Ultimate Guide To Kink is groundbreaking in its breadth, providing readers with an intimate understanding of sensation-based SM play, while also not shying away from involved exploration of the mental and emotional aspects of kink from both the top and bottom perspectives.  Filled with personal reflections from some of the most seasoned players in our community, this book moves beyond a simple “how to” and gives readers an opportunity to step into a role/identity/scene and get an authentic taste and a chance to safely explore/fantasize.

In this collection Taormino smoothly manages the difficult task of creating a book that can speak to a wide range of audiences. The Ultimate Guide to Kink provides what I imagine is an approachable and welcoming introduction to many aspects of BDSM play that I wish I’d had available to me when I jumped into BDSM a decade ago. From Felice Shay’s chapter on “Playing with Rough Sex” to edgier and taboo role play like “Digging in the Dirt: The Lure of Taboo Role Play” by Mollena Williams the book truly has something for folks of all experience levels, from a beginner who’s curious about exploring to more experienced readers interested in being challenged by discussion of kink community/culture, edge play and consensually pushing our limits. The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a landmark collection destined to be a touchstone classic to recommend to anyone interested in BDSM exploration.

 

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM Role Play and the Erotic Edge
By Tristan Taormino
Cleis Press
Paperback, 9781573447799, 464 pp.
March 2012

Sassafras Lowrey photo

About: Sassafras Lowrey

Sassafras Lowrey is straight-edge punk who grew up to become the 2013 winner of the Lambda Literary Emerging Writer Award. Hir books—Lost Boi, A Little Queermas Carol, Roving Pack, Leather Ever After, and Kicked Out—have been honored by organizations ranging from the National Leather Association to the American Library Association. Hir nonfiction book Left Out: How Marriage Equality Abandoned Homeless LGBTQ Youth is forthcoming from The New Press, and TRICKS IN THE CITY: For Daring Doggos and the Humans that Love Them is forthcoming from Mango Publishing. Sassafras' fiction and nonfiction work has appeared in numerous anthologies, literary journals, and magazines and ze facilitates writing workshops at colleges, conferences, and homeless shelters across the country. Sassafras has recently relocated from Brooklyn to Portland with hir partner, and their menagerie of dogs and cats. Learn more at SassafrasLowrey.com

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